Tears and Joys

Moving to Texas has been  H. A. R. D. Moving in general is not easy, it zaps just about every single resource. And then, just because life isn’t already hard enough a curl ball gets thrown right at your face.

Our first month was alright. We arrived at our new place and instantly wanted to demand our money back. Actually, I did. But they promised to fix the water, even though it was out of their control, and promised to replace the nasty disgusting, I wouldn’t even wash my pet dog in that tub, which they did.

We got our stuff on time and we only lost a few things from poor packing. Shipping our stuff was most definitely the BEST DECISION EVER! Then we spent the rest of the month getting used to the Texas heat and humidity (Still not used to it).

OD delivery

June turned into July and we thought life was going well. We visited our farmer friends, The Dragon’s! We celebrated Mr. Wonderful’s birthday and had a fun 4th setting off fireworks.

Dragons

August came, and we just pretend August 2016 didn’t happen. The domino of events last month were devastating and heart breaking. As I heal from the roller coaster, I will share all the bumps and pits of August.

Now, we are in September. The floods of August receded but left some pretty deep wounds. As we try to pick ourselves up, we have had some hiccups (Budget? What budget? You mean, crap what did we spend our grocery budget on…)

But moving to Texas, hasn’t been all “OMG WHAT DID WE DO?!?!” We have had some really wonderful moments.

Like taking Mr. Z to the Houston Museum of Natural Science.

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Visiting my mom’s parents in San Antonio.

Grandparents

And frog catching in Dallas, at my cousin’s son’s birthday party.

Frog catching in Azle

Right now, we are holding on to the things that bring us Joy here in Texas.  Like slowing down and making cookies with Mr. Z.

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Easter 2016

 

This Easter was a little strange for me. First off, it was in March, that ALWAYS throws me off. Secondly, I am going through a sort of spiritual reawakening.

Mr Wonderful and I have been talking about when, how, and what we should do. Jump out or jump in? After we move or right now? Maybe, just wait until the next big trial? I pointed out, maybe we should do it now. We have a 3 year old, whom we drag to church, so let’s decide now if we want to keep doing that.

So we decided to jump in, and it seemed like a perfect time to start our rediscovery journey on Easter Sunday. So we started coming up with some rules.

Dinner at the table, as a family nightly. So that we can do family prayer and scriptures right after dinner.
No TV on Sunday, except religious shows (ie Veggie Tales, or the animated scripture shows.)
No devices at the table during dinner.
We will have couple study and prayer in the morning.

For Easter, I just got some jelly beans and then a favorite treat for everyone. (Chocolate for me, of course!) I have no idea of what kind of fun traditions to do for Easter. We don’t do Santa, so no Easter Bunny. Maybe we’ll start getting new shoes for Easter…

Easter baskets
Easter baskets

Before we gave Mr. Z his “basket” Mr Wonderful gave a brief explanation on why at Easter we give gifts. “Christ died for us, it was a perfect gift of love. To celebrate his gift, we give gifts to one another on Easter to remember His gift.”

Family Easter picture
Family Easter picture

While we were at church today, of course right in the middle of Sacrament, Mr. Z proclaims, “NO! I don’t want Jesus to die!” We try to explain how this is good things, because now he lives again. Then he asks, “Can Grandma Nancy come back like Jesus?” While being able to understand death, the idea of resurrection is a really hard concept all around.

After church, we came home and had a nice Easter dinner, crock pot Leg of Lamb, honey carrots, roasted rosemary potatoes, and gluten free rolls. I think Leg of Lamb will be our new Easter dinner.

 

January Whole30: Day 26

I can not believe that this January Whole30 is almost over, and I have not been writing about it. Let me give you a brief overview of the things we, as a family, learned so far this month.

Mr. Wonderful learned that changing your diet is HARD!

He was really surprised that at work he was finding himself jealous of people eating non-compliant foods. He told me he never realized how hard it has been for me to make these changes and developed a new appreciation for how hard I try.

Vegetables are CHEAP

I have been really surprised at our last few grocery bills. When I try to keep the bill under $100, I usually don’t make it. But our last 3 trips where right around $80. And this month, was the first month that we didn’t blow out the grocery budget. (I will say that we did go over, but only by $4.74!)

Workouts

Other rounds of Whole30 have just been purely about the food. This time I have been working out too. And I have motivation to go workout and I am finding that I am pushing myself. And the scale, whoa! It is moving! (Yes, I know weighing yourself is breaking a Whole30 rule, but I am doing a challenge with some friends and we have to weigh in weekly.)

Cooking Creativity

This came along as I was either lazy about preparing dinner or because I chose not to get something because of cost. Sweet Potatoes are great bases for almost anything.

Children model our behavior

I think most of us know this already, but it has really been shown to us. Mr. Z turns 3 soon and is pretty good about eating vegetables. He has even told Mr. Wonderful he needs to eat more!

 

It has been fun and an interesting experiment for our little family. I am glad I decided to do this as a family. I know it will help make the next two month easier.

I am hurting too

Checking email is a part of a normal morning routine. Collapsing on the kitchen floor into an emotional mess, is not.

Email

At my age, news of parents passing should not be something I should be dealing with. Death is something my group of girl friends from high school is becoming undesirably familiar with.

We have had grandparents pass.
Parents.
And a child.

Death is a part of life. But is doesn’t make it easier.

The sudden loss of a parent comes with an indescribable pain. It pierces your soul. It rips your heart apart and your soul comes screaming out with a force so strong your body just fails.

You start thinking about every minor detail of your life that you haven’t told them. For me, it wasn’t just minor details. Maybe that makes it harder.

Picking up the pieces, finding the will to just go, becomes a primal instinct, a flight or fight response.

My mom died 3 years ago. I was 10 weeks pregnant. I was waiting to tell her in person. The plan was to drive over for a surprise visit and tell her in person on Saturday. She died 6 days before.

This is different, they had a little bit of warning, but that doesn’t help the grieving process.

Grief of a parent is life long.

When something good happens, it is there.
When your child does something funny, sweet, milestones, birthdays.
When your child is misbehaving
When you’re at church
When your friend tells you that their mom is gone too.

I know that this weekend, isn’t about me and my grief. It isn’t about me and my missed opportunities. It is about Merri, and her grief. Her missed opportunities.

But I will be hurting too.

What do I want from this blog?

I started this blog as a way to talk my way through Whole30, without the “tough love”.

I dislike that term, by the way. Love isn’t tough. It is kind and patient, gentle and inviting. It shouldn’t make you feel like everything you have done is worthless. Which is how I felt using the forum.

But now I am done with Whole30, But I don’t want to be done blogging.

I don’t want to be another “mommy blogger” or another “mommy food blogger” or another “paleo food blogger”. But I think it is a little inevitable, I am a mom, I LOVE food, and I am paleo.

I am not the type to develop a new recipe weekly for you.

I think I will take this blog in a weight loss and health improvement blog. That is my goal in life, to nourish my body to be healthy and whole. With a little parenting, little spirituality, a little of this and a little of that, all mixed it. It is my blog. I titled it with the word, WHOLE because, I wanted it to be about, the whole of my life.


So with that, it is August. Whole30 is done. And I am on to the next thing. This month, I am working on a couple of things, half marathon training, doing the 21-Day Fix, and I want to improve my scripture study.

Half Marathon Training: I found a training calendar, and I need to just do it. I also recruited a friend to do it with me!

21-Day Fix: I know I posted I was going to do the 21-Day Fix Extreme, but I want to do that half marathon, so I thought I should cut back a little.

Scripture Study: It seems like every Fast Sunday, at least one person gets up and says “Hey you! Why aren’t you reading and studying the scriptures? It is promised that you will have more time, more energy, more everything, if you just devote that time every morning to your Heavenly Father.” And then I go, “Crap, they are talking right to me, I should do that.”

Sometimes I am great at it. But most of the time, It never crosses my mind to even crack those suckers open.

This month, I am going to read daily. There is a couple of great places to get a daily verse set and question. This year, I wanted to finish the Book of Mormon again, since I haven’t do that since high school… I am in Alma, two months behind of BofM365 instagram feed… time to double up!

Day 31–Now what?

 

The good:
I get to step on that scale!!
Start: 208
Day 31: 199.2 WHAT! WHAT!!

Sleep?
Meh, I have a toddler who joins us almost nightly

Energy?
Ebbs and flows, but it mostly up

digestion?
I do not believe Whole30 helped it, especially since I had more occurrences of flares toward the end.

Reintroduction plan (5 days between new foods):
Day 1: CHEESE
Day 2 through 6: Whole30
Day 7: Peanut butter and beans
Day 8 through 12: Whole30
Day 13: Rice and corn
Day 14 through 18: Whole30
Day 19: Gluten

So far dairy has been fine. I had straight cheese, pizza (paleo with cheese) and frozen yogurt!

Cheese and apples
Cheese and apples
PIZZA
PIZZA

 

Froyo with lots of chocolate!
Froyo with lots of chocolate!

I did also have some popcorn at the movie in the park, and some potato chips at the park with some friends tonight.

Over all I am feeling good. A little sluggish, but over all fine.

So now that Whole30 is “done”, I am going to start the 21 Day Fix Extreme, while finishing up the  reintroduction phase.

 

Also, I think I want to do a local half-marathon in October. So, need to start training for that if I really do want to do that.

 

July 26 and 27th–Friends, Food, and Health

 

Sunday, July 26th:

As we were walking out the door for church, we got invited to lunch. We also already had plans for dinner. We spent all day out of the house, with friends, family, and food!

Breakfast: Leftover carrots, onions and potatoes with a chicken sausage

Snack: GGS

Lunch: Tuna Salad, carrot sticks, salad with paleo ranch (Lunch was not a whole30 friendly meal, so I brought my own food. Glad our friends understand!)

Dinner: (I took a picture, but it isn’t on my phone…) grilled, marinated chicken, salad, roasted carrots and green beans. It was delicious!

Monday:

Monday’s are always crazy, and I tend to dislike them. But today I got some great news. More details in a coming post.

Breakfast: GGS and I added some hemp hearts and coconut oil to make it a full meal.

Lunch: Hamburger over lettuce with caramelized onions and guacamole

Lunch Whole30 day 27
Lunch Whole30 day 27

Dinner: Meatloaf and roasted carrots and parsnips

 

Dinner whole30 day 27
Dinner whole30 day 27