Fight like a Cactus

A few days ago on Instagram, I posted this picture:

My fighting cactus
My fighting cactus

I talked a little about postpartum depression, and I wanted to talk a little more about it.

First off, IT IS REAL. It manifests differently in people, and in some people it triggers other things. For me it was this weird fog that was consistent for almost 3 years! I was just kind of existing. I jumped into a bunch of parenting groups thinking it would help me find myself. Instead, it just made me crazy busy and exhausted. Parenting groups are great, I learned a lot and make some really great close friends.

But what I was missing was finding myself after baby.

This is something that isn’t talked about, how to find yourself again after baby. I don’t think I could do this topic justice. I want to share how I got out of the fog.

NUMBER ONE: You, not someone else, needs to recognize you are being true to yourself.

Going to get help, because someone else is telling you, can make it harder for you to see that you need help. If you are like me you just dig your heels in and fight back.

NUMBER TWO: Find the help that works for you.

This is hard. I tried what I thought was everything; acupuncture, counseling, essential oils, medications. Nothing really helped. Then I tried, just being healthier; diet changes, exercising, and just getting outside. This helped the most. It wasn’t until an underlying medical issue was found, that the fog lifted.

NUMBER THREE: If it works, DON’T STOP!

Seriously. Why change what works? I know we get bored, but stick with it.

Fighting for 3 years, is a long time. I am grateful Mr. Wonderful didn’t walk away, I wasn’t best wife or personal to get along with. Am I 100%? Nope, I am still working on getting back to my old self. Everyday I get closer, and it helps me to see the improvements that I have made, just like my little cactus.

Mr. Wonderful and I
Mr. Wonderful and I

 

Easter 2016

 

This Easter was a little strange for me. First off, it was in March, that ALWAYS throws me off. Secondly, I am going through a sort of spiritual reawakening.

Mr Wonderful and I have been talking about when, how, and what we should do. Jump out or jump in? After we move or right now? Maybe, just wait until the next big trial? I pointed out, maybe we should do it now. We have a 3 year old, whom we drag to church, so let’s decide now if we want to keep doing that.

So we decided to jump in, and it seemed like a perfect time to start our rediscovery journey on Easter Sunday. So we started coming up with some rules.

Dinner at the table, as a family nightly. So that we can do family prayer and scriptures right after dinner.
No TV on Sunday, except religious shows (ie Veggie Tales, or the animated scripture shows.)
No devices at the table during dinner.
We will have couple study and prayer in the morning.

For Easter, I just got some jelly beans and then a favorite treat for everyone. (Chocolate for me, of course!) I have no idea of what kind of fun traditions to do for Easter. We don’t do Santa, so no Easter Bunny. Maybe we’ll start getting new shoes for Easter…

Easter baskets
Easter baskets

Before we gave Mr. Z his “basket” Mr Wonderful gave a brief explanation on why at Easter we give gifts. “Christ died for us, it was a perfect gift of love. To celebrate his gift, we give gifts to one another on Easter to remember His gift.”

Family Easter picture
Family Easter picture

While we were at church today, of course right in the middle of Sacrament, Mr. Z proclaims, “NO! I don’t want Jesus to die!” We try to explain how this is good things, because now he lives again. Then he asks, “Can Grandma Nancy come back like Jesus?” While being able to understand death, the idea of resurrection is a really hard concept all around.

After church, we came home and had a nice Easter dinner, crock pot Leg of Lamb, honey carrots, roasted rosemary potatoes, and gluten free rolls. I think Leg of Lamb will be our new Easter dinner.