June 30, 2015–I haven’t even started and I have learned so much.

The first thing that I have learned is that the Whole30 forum isn’t for me. I personally have a hard time with negativity, “tough love”, and criticism. Yes, I am an adult, and no I don’t need to be coddled. Maybe if it was said, “Calorie counting is not part of Whole30, while your doctor has asked you to do that, we discourage it” And a link to the rule that explicitly states No Calorie Counting, cause I couldn’t find one.

I hate how text on the internet can be so misconstrued.

I want a support network, and so I have started this journal of sorts. I am a terrible blogger! My family blog hasn’t been updated since March 2013… but this is going to be a journal for me to talk about my success, and work out issues and frustrations.

Comment and participate with me on this journey, but please be kind!
I have also learned that some foods I just assumed to be compliant are not! Peas, yup, no frozen peas, green beans are allowed. Also, I was hoping that lemon juice was, but only fresh, the bottle stuff has sulfites in it.

No Peas

No Bottled Lemon Juice

I am trying to take today to prep for this next week. I do not want to crash and burn in the first few days.

Today’s prep list:

  • Make Chicken Salad for Lunches
    • Make Mayo
    • Boil and shred chicken
  • Cut vegetables
    • for breakfasts
      • Bag for easy mornings
    • for lunches
    • for dinners
  • Double check everything is ready for tomorrow
  • PULL OUT CHICKEN
  • Make Pesto
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June 29, 2015–Grocery Shopping day

Last night, after I posted my first “journal entry” on the forum, I got an almost instantaneous response. At first I was, “SUPPORT!! Somebody either resonated with what I said or they just want to give me a high 5 for taking the huge step of committing.”

But that was very short lived.

I am using this part of the forum as a “Journal” of sorts. The first post in this forum even stated that it is to used this way and that We will only comment when asked, or if we feel that significantly unhealthy or dangerous behaviors are taking place.”

I did not expect to have my first comment feel like a slap on the wrist. (And that is probably not what the moderator was going for)

It has turned me off a little. No scratch that, A LOT!

As someone struggling with body image issues, food issues, and low self-esteem, telling me that I am doing something “BANNED” from the whole30 rules, was hurtful.

Now, I am not saying all this because I am mad, I am saying because this is how I feel (I am not mad, ok, shocked and discouraged, yes). There is a reason why I waited until this evening to respond. I talked to my husband, and some friends that have done whole30 before, and I took a step back and tried to look at it through a moderator’s eye, and I searched to see if counting calories really was banned. Not to prove him wrong, but to learn.

This is what I learned, whole30 is about PORTION CONTROL, and changing the way you look and act about food. Licking out the sunbutter jar because you can have those extra 100 calories, is not whole30.

I get that.

I am working with a doctor, specifically for losing weight and healing my gut issue. She gave me specific guidelines to follow ALONG with the whole30 rules. I am going to be following that prescribed plan.

If that means I am not doing a “true whole30” to you, then that’s ok. I bet your whole30 doesn’t look like mine either.

Now, no more talk about calories and he said she said. (I will also try to refrain from talking about calories and macros throughout the rest of this whole30 journey.)

Grocery shopping today! Last week I made a menu; breakfast, lunch, dinner and optional snack when needed. I wrote out every single item that I would need for all those meals. I check off ingredients I already had, we went to Costco to stock up on a few things. And today, I went to get everything else.

Out of my list there were 2 things that I couldn’t find a whole30 compliant option: Fish Sauce and Pancetta. Only brand of  fish sauce I could find was carried at my local food co-op, and had sugar. Looking through the forums, I hear that an Asian market might be a better option. We have one, I just haven’t had the chance to go to it, ever.

As for pancetta, usually the co-op has a couple of brands, but they were out. And I wasn’t too surprised that the second ingredient in the only brand I could find at the grocery store was sugar.

So, my options are, just not use the fish sauce, or go check out the asian market. And for the pancetta, just substitute bacon (I have compliant bacon!).

June 28, 2015–Preparing for my First Whole30

It is currently 103* F outside and about 85* inside. I am sitting planning to start my first whole30 on Wednesday, July 1st. It going to be a bit of a challenge, (my sister is getting married July 11th and we will be traveling for 4 days for it), but I am going to do it.

I feel like for years now, I have postponed doing something for me. I am tired of being tired, fat, low to no self esteem, and the gut issues, completely over those.

I am currently seeing a new doctor to hopefully fix my gut, but I know if I really want to fix it, I can not eat pop tarts and bon bons forever.

I try to eat Paleo, but it is hard, I love FOOD. I eat, because I want to, because I am bored, because my gut hurts and maybe it will help.

Whole30 for me is going to be difficult, I know I will have days where I will hate it, but I am hoping that by August, I am feeling better.

What my Whole30 is going to look like:

  • 1500 Calories a day
  • 40% fat
  • 30% carbohydrates
  • 30% Protein (this outline is doctor prescribed for me as I am trying to lose weight)
  • The first week I am not planning on doing any exercising, and will re-evaluate for week two.
  • Menu planning on Sunday, grocery shopping on Mondays.

What scares me about Whole30?

SUGAR. SWYPO foods. No sugar and SWYPO foods, scare me. I never really realized how much sugar I eat until I went paleo in January. All I have wanted to do is recreate “normal”” sugary treats to “paleo-ified” sugary treats. Heck, I even read labels at my local health food store and justify a non-paleo ingredient or two for a convenient treat.

SWYPO foods, I love bread. And I have found a couple paleo bread recipes that have helped curb my desire to just throw my hands up and buy some cheap white bread and eat the whole loaf.

I am a binge eater. Something that I have always known in the back of my mind, but it was until recently, that I have really been able to say it. This is another thing about Whole30 that scares me. I am afraid that my habits are going to be hard to overcome. I am hoping that having a strict outline of NO foods will help to keep me strong so I can overcome my natural man tendencies.

What do I want to achieve through this Whole30 journey?

Weight loss, duh!

I want to prove to myself that I am not my Mother. It will be 3 years ago, July 15th, that I got the wake up call of a lifetime. My mom, died of a heart attack at age 56. I was 10 weeks pregnant with our now 2 year old, and all I could could was hold myself together for our long awaited baby. After he was born I had some post-partum depression, and climbed my way out, by looking at everything that I could change so that I WOULD NEVER become my Mother. She died at over 400 pounds, type II diabetic, and as someone who had lost all hope.

I have not lost my hope, I know that I can and will overcome my genetic history. It is why we went gluten free with a 6 month old. It is why in January we went Paleo. It is why today, I am going to do Whole30. It is why I went and found a new doctor who believes me that do have some sort of gut issue, and is supportive of me taking control of my gut, health, mind, and spirit.